a day in the life.

I finally figured out why it was EXCRUSIATINGLY hard to get ANYTHING done this week!...it's the weather! Cloudy and chilly. I'm starting to wonder if I'm a true daughter of Minnesota. Perhaps California put me up for adoption.

After a stressful day of grocery shopping with two toddlers and panicing to get a heavily anticipated by the husband trout supper cooked only to not have to done on time which caused a wonderful fight... the kids wouldn't eat their steamed brocoli and baked potatoes. So we ended up eating bowls of Cap'n Crunch. (Which I haven't had in YEARS.. this is not a usually affair. Don't call social services.) The trout is packed away for reheating at a later hour. And now I have a disaster of a kitchen. Kids that won't stop whining...okay.. they just stopped whining.. they are so hopped up on sugar that they are terrorizing the upstairs...is that water running I hear?... And the cat snuck out of the house and is playing with the wild neighborhood rabbits. There's a dirty diaper to change. And I can't even run away because I don't have a car.

Atleast the sun is shining as it sets.

Now they're back to whining.

I kept forgetting that I had to make a cheesecake tonight. So it didn't get started until... after nine pm. crust is in the oven and I remember... NO SUGAR!! Rush out to my local Kwik Trip. Find the four pound bag on the bottom shelf amoung the other "shoot we're out of..." items. I reach for the bag and notice... "$4.88" WHAT!?! Do I take the extra time and energy to head over to my local grocer? The crust is almost done. I contemplate it.. do the math... I have to.. this isn't a small village in the middle of a third world country... I can NOT pay five dollars for a bag of off brand sugar. Ten minutes later I am the newest owner of a $1.88 bag of sugar. That's more like it.

Fear not... for I am with you.

Last night I put Zachariah to bed... for a second time. He claimed that he had a bad dream about a monster. I knew that he hadn't even fallen asleep yet.. he had been playing. But I suspect that he didn't try to sleep because of an early "scary monster" dream.

So I told him that mommy couldn't take the monster dreams away... only Jesus
could..and that we needed to pray.

So I did.

The first thing he says when he wakes up this morning...


"I didn't have a monster dream! Jesus took the monster away!! I won't be afraid in my room anymore!"

Then we talked about how faithful and good Jesus is.

“Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.”

I have a meeting with a few ladies from my church this afternoon about some things we'd like to start at our church. I'm so excited.. I know they are too. I pray the Lord will work in awesome ways.

And on a non-God note. I am thinking about changing Kate's name to "olive"... I can't help that she looks like an "olive".

Do you know what I just made? No I'm not going all flowers in the attic. I made enough laundry detergent for 64 loads of laundry for like... a dollar... if that. I'm jazzed.

And a few weeks ago... a sea of homemade fruit leather.

With all the money I'm saving the family we're going to buy a new van... or ice cream...

The Lord's Will will come to pass. We can be willing to listen to his Spirit and let Him use us. Or we can be silent and pass up the opportunities he gives us. He will just give them to somebody else. Because His Will will come to pass.

I realized this morning that the Lord had put a few different people in my life the last few years. NonChristians. The Spirit had prompted me to share Him with them. Of course there were always excuses. I would put most of them on that person-- "if they wanted to go to church they would be going already" "they're not interested in God.. they just want to party" etc etc. This morning the Lord showed me some of those people... giving their testimonies of the Lord.

The Lord had work to do... and was more than willing to use me. And I let it pass.

I repent.

easter egg hunt. check. -- waited longer than the whole thing took. parents of three and four year olds do NOT need to be beside their children during an egg hunt.

color eggs. check. -- redied all of impatient three year old's eggs. Eggs dipped in die for 15 seconds are not very pretty. Waiting for the surprise egg to be discovered.

make cheesecake. check. --forgot to take out cream cheese to soften so hopefully is blended well enough.

decorate easter cookies. check. -- what? you've never written "new covenant" on a butterfly cookie before? strange.

put easter baskets together.

celebrating the Risen Savior is hard work!

Zachariah's big thing is playing pretend... he calls it "play puppet show". He gave me a Ronald McDonald toy to talk and he was the snake. He always starts out with the question...
"What's your name?"
I replied,"Ronald McDonald... what's your name?"
"...Barack Obama."

I don't know if it's funny just because that name was the first he came up with or that he was insightful enough to name the snake that.

Yesterday I put Kate in a dress because my mom was having a "come over and spend lots of money so that I can get lots of free stuff" party at my house. Zachariah asked why Kate was wearing a dress... he is getting really good at patterns the day before I was wearing earring uncharacteristically on a friday and he asked why I was wearing my "church earrings"... I told him it was because Kate was "going to be the princess of the jewelry party", to which he replied "AHHHG... I am NOT going to be king!!"

He didn't have to be king. He had a morning with just daddy doing things little boys and daddies do... mcdonald's pancakes and building bird houses. The world can count it's blessings that he wasn't born into royalty.

How nice to be at the point of absolute trust in God's Sovereignty.

I have a friend who...isn't in a relationship with the Lord.. is that the best way to put it...? She was telling me about her life and things that need to come together for her. I keep catching myself from telling her that at least she can trust in the Lord...because she can't. It is such a blessing to have concrete promises from a loving God when we're following Christ. The world doesn't have those. I really don't know how they make it through day to day. Hoping that by chance things work out.

I'll pray for a chance to let her know of the hope I have (again) when I see her.

I'm still listening for whispers in between yells

I think I was created for ministry. For missions work.
Some say "every Christian is a missionary". No. They're not.
You talking to your neighbor about Christ is your duty
as a Christian. It's sharing your faith. It's not "missions work".
Atleast not according to...me.
I do okay with a "real life" and then I start getting itchy.
I start searching the internet for opportunities. My mind starts
racing. I request information. I dream. I fret. I wonder.

Such is the case again today. Found some opportunities which may
or may not be way over my head at a place I "worked" for before.
Or atleast a potential one for Ben so that my kids can be raised.
But it requires...gulp...Raising complete support.
That is the scary part. I know God is the one who provides. But
it's still scary scary.

I just feel like I have more ahead. Does that mean I have to have everything
TODAY.. no.. but it's exciting. If Joseph would have gotten what he would have
wanted the Cupbearer would have remembered him right away and Pharaoh would have
let him free to go home. And that would have been that. He would have gone home to a dysfunctional family and died in the famine. Instead the Cupbearer "forgot" and Joseph stayed in jail for two years... perhaps thinking he would be there forever.. and instead is taken out and made the number two of all Egypt. I am more than ready to wait for God's plan instead of mine. And be mastering what he has already given me. But I start to itch. I start to dream. I start to wonder.

The Great Lake Swimmers new album dropped yesterday. I downloaded it for $3.75!
That's about the best thing EVER! And by "ever" I mean.. the best thing in the last 48 hours.. not counting Christ and my family and my cat...

There's a song on there that matches my mood today... see above. I don't know if all of the lyrics are right.. but close enough.

STILL

I’m still tuning myself to the great key
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still mining for life in the dark wells
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still a frequency swaying
Thief in the wind
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still searching for whispers in between yells
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still swimming in harmony
I’m still dreaming of flight
I’m still lost in the waves night after night
I’m still an arrow unshot fixed in a hold
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still a fire unlit ready to go
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still loaded and waiting
With anticipation to fly
I’m still studying the patterns in the night sky
I’m still a note that’s unlaid
Ink on a page
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still a cry in the night
intimate high
I’m still
I’m still
I’m still tuned to an instrument with greater
unknown design
I’m still looking for direction some kind of sign
I’m still tuning myself to the great key
I’m still
I’m still

the joy of three.

Zachariah tends to be shy around strangers. He barely looked the dentist in the eye last week.. let alone make any sort of vocal response to his usual "trying to get a kid to talk to me so I'm going to talk about kids things" banter. Yesterday we were in the library. "I want some books" he told me as he stomped towards the adult section. We made our way around the library and I took a brief stop at the video section. "I want some books" he reminded me again and stomped off somewhere. He disappeared for a moment while I was pacifying the little one and I find him at the desk of the children's librarian. He was already in mid-conversation. "I need some books.... Some BIG BOY books!!" If mom wasn't going to get the job done then he was going to find someone who could!

We our having our first, for the most part, successful week of potty training. Only a few "number one" accidents... not ONE "number two". Less than an hour later from getting home from the library he was playing outside and I was making lunch. I go to check on him and he lets me know that he "pooped in the yard." I make him show me where... yup... there it was.. just like a dog. He had pulled his pants down in the middle of the yard and took a poop. Atleast I didn't have any nasty pants to clean up. We did have a little talk though on how that's what dogs do.. not little boys.